Ral’s Woman

7203997Ral’s Woman

By: Laurann Dohner

1 “Stilted Writing And Horrible Punctuation” Stars

Genre: Sci Fi Romance, Trainwreck

Cliffhanger: No.

Price: $5.00 for Kindle

Quick Thoughts: Could have been good, but was not.

Let me start off this review by stating that I am not a grammar Nazi by any means. I’m pretty sure if you read any of my reviews on this blog, you are sure to find many misspellings or wonky punctuation that I hadn’t noticed as I hurriedly type out these reviews, having many other things I have to do on any given day. However, where as this blog is a hobby of mine, I feel as though these mistakes don’t quite compare to the same type of scale in which we should measure books written by authors, who make writing a career and are selling their craft for the masses to read and enjoy.

There are standards that we expect when purchasing a book from an author, with the most important being that it can be read with relative ease, and that when an author puts a book out for sale that they at least proof-read the damn thing and not publish a first draft. If you feel the same way I do, then I must inform you that this book will disappoint you…HARD.

First off, the price. Five bucks is kinda high for me, and it was totally my fault buying this one without first checking out its page length. Five bucks for a four hundred page book, I don’t mind. It is an substantial story and took a lot of time and effort for the author to produce and deserves a higher price point. Five dollars for 100 pages? Not so much. That isn’t a novel, it is a short story and should be at the most $2 if it a high quality one, which I can assure you, is not the case for this one.

Ral’s Woman is a story of a woman who has been abducted by a species of aliens called the Anzons. They are dying out due to their 18:1 male/female ratio and has been searching all throughout space for another species that is compatible to breed with. Luckily for Ariel, she is not, so is spared (and the human race along with her) being a breeder for these aliens, and instead is given to their slaves that they have working the mine on their meteor base. They make their slaves fight, the winner receiving her as his prize, and she witnesses a brutal contest where the biggest of the group wins and claims her as his prize.

The victor, Ral is a Zorn warrior, he and his men were captured by the Anzon as they “vacationed” on their hunting planet and have been working on the base ever since as slaves. He is their leader and the winner of all of these contests, giving the prize away to one of his men, however, once he wins Ariel, he wants her and decides to keep her for himself. After taking her back to his sleeping area (a hollowed out room in the mine with a make-shift door), he orders her to strip and show him how to make sex pleasurable to her. She begs him not to have sex with her, a request that he promptly denies, and she reluctantly show him how to prepare her for dubiously consented sex.

He lays down the “rules” for her. He will feed, clothe, and protect her and she will repay him by opening her legs to him and only him. She reluctantly agrees, seeing no other option to survive, and they begin a relationship, where after only a day, they profess their love for each other.

Barely another day passes and they are able to escape the meteor, along with the other Zorn warriors, and steal an Anzon spaceship. It is on this ship, Ariel makes another attempt to beg Ral to take her back to Earth, yet another request he denies. He informs her that his planet is her home now because they are “bound” and takes her off to his xenophobic planet where he will “make” everyone accept her.

If I say any more past this point I will be telling you the whole story, the rest of it being only marginally interesting and full of stilted dialogue, and more poor writing. I’ve read a book from this author before, a book about a genetically enhanced animal/human hybrids that was better written than this mess.  I give it one star because I saw the potential of a way better story, just not fleshed out properly, and I hope that Ms. Dohner gets herself an editor or a friend that is nice enough to proof-read her work before she releases anymore first drafts disguised as finished works.


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