Close Liasons

17608853Close Liasons

By: Anna Zaires

1 “Fifty Shades Of Alien” Stars

Genre: Aliens; Trainwreck

Cliffhanger: No.

Price: Free

Quick Thoughts: The forced Vegetarianism is worse than forced seduction.

I’ve been having a good streak going with the Sci Fi romance genre, so I decided to check this recommendation out. What I expected, hot sexy times with an invading alien force. What I got, however, was the author trying to make go outside, find the first vegetarian I see, and punch them in the face. It’s not even that I hate vegetarians. One of my close friends is Radha Soami ( a religion that abstains from meat and alcohol), and when he comes over, I make him a Boca burger and we hang out as he stares in a jealous longing of my bacon and beer. What I do hate is when an author tries to push an agenda on me in the disguise of a book that was supposed to be filled with alien smutty goodness.

This book starts us off with the Krinar coming to our planet because there own is dying, and we, the idiot, meat-eating unenlightened creatures that we are, are squandering our own, and they have come to save it. They immediately start making us become vegetarians (making meat and eggs too expensive for everyone), make us clean up the planet, as they watch on as judgmental overlords.

I’m not even going to do a summary of this crap. It is basically a fan-fiction of Fifty Shades of Grey (which was a fan-fiction of Twilight) but with an alien playing the role of Mr. Grey. I’m all for OTT (over-the-top) Alphas in my books, but this guy wasn’t doing much for me. He was whiny, manipulative, and unlikable, while the girl in this was a stupid, vapid doormat. The amount of fucks I could give about this train-wreck of a book is so infinitesimal, you couldn’t see it with a microscope.

The SHEER amount of soap box propaganda about the benefits of vegetarianism was so much I had to just laugh to keep myself from tossing my Kindle across the room. Like I said, I don’t like to be taught “lessons” in my erotica novels, I have a Bible around here somewhere that can do that for me.

Here are a few snippets of just the salad references:

Mia dug into her salad…

The salad was delicious…

…the incongruity of a creature from outer space making her a salad.

She’d learned to tolerate salad out of necessity…

…she mumbled around a mouthful of salad.

“I think I’ll get the roasted beets and goat cheese salad…

Mia nearly choked on her salad. ( I WISH she did.)

He made another one of his signature salads…

There was over 19 times the word “salad” was used and that is only okay in a smut book if it is referring to someone tossing it, and I’m not talking about vegetables. All this book did was make me go get a Baconator from Wendy’s and rage eat. So thanks for that Ms. Zaites.

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